Female Foeticide Cases!
I am a female and my heart aches when I hear of female foeticide cases. What is most saddening is that it’s the females themselves (especially the mother-in-laws) who encourage such horrendous acts. It’s beyond comprehension as to why do they forget that they themselves are females and it’s only a female who can give birth to that the male they desire so much. In India, soon after marriage the pressure to produce a child starts mounting. And the pressure is not only for any child, it’s for a ‘boy’. And soon after the ‘bahu’ gives the ‘good news’, everyone starts praying endlessly for a male child. The mother-to-be is made to do so many puja’s, eat so many types of things, and visit so many different pundits so that she bears nothing but a boy. She is looked upon with raised eyebrows and declared impudent if she happens to reveal her desire of having a girl child. Mother’s won’t allow their pregnant daughters to put up posters of cute girl children (in fear that it might change the gender of the baby in the womb).
A friend of mine recently gave birth to a girl for the second time and the first reaction everyone had was “Don’t worry, it’s alright”. Its strange how a “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you” suddenly changes into a condolence as if some calamity had taken place.
The root cause of this is ignorance of people, lack of education and low status of women in society. The status of women in a society can be determined by their education, health, economic role, presence in the professions and management, and decision-making power within the family. It is deeply influenced by the beliefs and values of society. Islam permits polygamy and gives women fewer rights than men. Among Hindus, preference for the male child is likewise deeply enshrined in belief and practice. Hinduism represent the ideal woman as obedient and submissive, and always needing the care of a male: first father, then husband, then son.
The birth of a son is regarded as essential in Hinduism and many prayers and lavish offerings are made in temples in the hope of having a male child. Modern medical technology is used in the service of this religion-driven devaluing of women and girls.
Religion operates alongside other cultural and economic factors in lowering the status of women. The need for a dowry for girl children, and the ability to demand a dowry for boys exerts considerable economic pressure on families to use any means to avoid having girls, who are seen as a liability. For a poor family, the birth of a girl child can signal the beginning of financial ruin and extreme hardship.
What people need to realize now is that if given a chance, women can do as brilliantly as men in any sphere of life. She can be a wife, a mother and a professional all at one time, and she can manage all the chores with equal proficiency. When God created this universe, he didn’t create an inferior or a superior being. He simply created a male and a female who had to undertake the journey of life together, walking hand in hand, not one following the other. Let’s not destroy the delicate balance created by him by obliterating the very source of life’s origin.
Did you enjoy this post? Why not leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to my feed and get articles like this delivered automatically to your feed reader.
Comments
Hey Dr Mitu Khurana, I really salutes you for what you did to protect your babies from your own family. It is a fact only that we consider that how will I fight against my own family, but we should take care of the feeling that babies are also ours only. Thanks for such a nice comment out here.
I ,Dr Mitu Khurana, mother of two daughters, whom i have saved from being killed by my husband and in laws during my pregnancy , would like to share my experience with the PC-PNDT act , and implementing authorities attitude.
I, got married to Dr Kamal Khurana on 28th November 2004.There was a lot of dowry harassment initially. I became pregnant in Jan 2005. A transvaginal ultrasound conducted in 6th week of pregnancy showed that I was carrying twin babies. Then my mother in law started demanding sex determination. I and my parents tried resisting it
My in laws and husband got that done by deception. They knew I was allergic to egg. The fed me egg laden cake, telling me that it was egg less. I developed allergic manifestations in the form of stomach ache, loose motions and vomiting. Whole night I was left alone. Next morning my husband took me to hospital, which was not the same from where I was undergoing my ante natal tests. He and his mother accompanied me. I was admitted to the labour room. The gynaecologist advised K.U.B (Kidney, ureter, bladder).ultrasound, but the radiologist did the foetal ultrasound and asked me to get up and go. I pointed out to him, that gynaecologist has ordered K.U.B. So than the radiologist again asked me to lie down and did the K.U.B examination.
After this incident my husband and in laws started demanding that I get an M.T.P. My mother in law asked me many times to at least get one child killed in utero. I was kept without food and water. My husband was totally ignoring me turned me out of the house at 10.p.m. in the night and asked me to go to my father’s house. He said “ja aapne baap ke ghar ja (go back to your father`s house)” when I asked him to at least take my mobile, or my car keys, as where I would go in pregnancy, to which he replied “is ghar se kisi cheez ko haath lagaya to thapar parega (if you take anything from this house ,I’ll slap you)”. My father in law intervened and asked my husband to let me stay the night, and morning he could send me to my parents.
On 17 May 2005, after one such verbal abuse throughout the night, I developed bleeding and threatened abortion, I was not even allowed to call up my parents for medical help. I managed to call up my father in the morning. After much persuasion by my father, my husband agreed to take me to the nursing home, but he drove too rashly on the entire drive from Rohini to JanakPuri. Thrice they tried to kill me or at least get me aborted after which my father brought me back to my parent’s home.
My mother in law told me that two daughters would be a big burden on them, and that I should give one of them up for adoption, get them aborted, or at least one of them killed.
My in laws and husband hardly ever accompanied me for antenatal tests or hospital visits after they came to know I am carrying daughters. My mother did all that. My husband would frequently fight with me even in my parents’ house .He demanded D.N.A test because his mother had told him that some priest had told them that he would be father of one son only. As I am carrying two daughters, they cannot be his children.
Despite all this tensions, I delivered two-pre term daughters on 11/08/2005.My in laws never visited me for full 9 days. Then my sister in laws, my mother in law, and my father in law came to visit me. One of my aunts congratulated my sisters in law. They said “God forbid, we ever become bhuas of girls again” .My mother in law said, “Anyway, they are born in seventh month so they are not going to survive anyway”. My younger daughter stayed in the nursery for almost one month. They did not pay the hospital bills also, which were paid by my parents.
I tried multiple times to go back to my in laws house. However, there a lot of verbal abuse, I had no help in looking after children. There was no love or respect for children or me. I was not even sure my children and I would be safe there. My mother in law deliberately pushed down my 4-month-old daughter from the staircase and pretended it was an accident. Fortunately I was able to hold her carrying cot and save her harm. They never showed any love or affection towards them. Their grandparents & aunts have rejected them totally.
I tried for full three years that my husband and in laws accept my daughters, because I wanted to give my daughters a stable home. Though I had complaint to the crime against women cell during my pregnancy itself about the fact that sex determination was done, and was being pressurized for M.T.P, but throughout I had requested them not to take any action as i thought they would mend their ways and accept my daughters.
In March 2008, my husband threw me out in the middle of the night, and asked me for a mutual divorce, because he wanted to remarry to have sons. It was during this visit to my matrimonial house, that I cam across the discharge papers, and reports of ultrasounds done during my pregnancy (those papers had been always in the custody of my husband).
COMPLAINT UNDER PC-PNDT ACT AND ATTITUDE OF THE AUTHORITIES.
I filed a complaint to the women commissions, the health minister, and various N.G.Os on 10th April 2008.I filed the complaint in P.N.D.T cell on 9th May 2008. When I got no reply from P.N.D.T authorities, I filed a R.T.I application on 21st May asking them what they had done in my case.
On 5th June I got the reply that the Central Monitoring Committee along with District Appropriate Authority (NORTH WEST DELHI) had raided the hospital on 3rd June 2008, and again I got a reply from District Appropriate Authority that during raid it was found that no form F was filled. (Which is true-it was never filled). Still no action was taken.
When my case was highlighted in media, I got a letter from District Appropriate Authority asking me to appear before them and express my views. I went to meet the C.D.M.O along with a friend, where I asked about the value of my statement in this case; wherein I was told that the law needs to be explored. I was also suggested that I should not do anything in the spirit of youth, which I `ll repent later. I was also told that I should try to reconcile with my husband, and the wish for a son was not something I could not fulfil, as I could always get pregnant again.
I was also asked the benefit I’ll be getting if the ultrasound machine is sealed, as the ultrasound machine was a very useful tool in the diagnostics, and someone could have to suffer for the eventuality of the ultrasound machine being sealed.
Lastly I was advised to inform the office, in case of resettlement with my husband, so that the doctors are not troubled. Though it has been established that the gynaecologist had asked only for K.U.B., and a detailed foetal ultrasound has been done, no form F has been filled, and also I was tortured during pregnancy to abort the babies, still no action is being taken…
An enquiry committee was set up in august 2008, and even the report given in that enquiry committee is totally biased. They have accepted all the statements given by husband, in laws and doctor as the truth, and reported my statements as contradictory to their statements. Also the fact that no form was filled (which had been conveyed to me by the way of an R.T.I also) was changed to that form F is not traceable. The enquiry report concludes that no direct or circumstantial evidence of sex determination was found. It also concludes in the same page that form F is not traceable (???) and my name is not even present in the district records of the time. To find out, weather sex determination in my case was done three years ago, all that has been done is to send a decoy customer and report that no sex determination was done in her case, so it was nt done in my case too.
My husband and in laws were aware of the report of the enquiry committee, even without getting a copy of the report. They got the copy of report only in Jan 2009, by way of a R.T.I application, but they have stated in their bail application in November 2008, and December 2008 that the appropriate authority have given them a clean chit after a detailed enquiry(???). that in itself proves that the enquiry committee has given its report in collision with all the accused.
I also met Joint Secretary Health and Family Welfare (central government), who told me that they cannot take any action against my husband and in laws as PC-PNDT act does not cover taking action against them (???). She advised me to file a case under domestic violence and let it be.
I was shocked when Chair Person, National Commission of Women, also tried to convince that since my daughters are alive I should withdraw my complaints under PC-PNDT act and satisfy myself by just filling under domestic violence act.
No answer is given about as to why the foetal ultrasound was done in the first place, when it was never asked for. In the meantime all my letters to central P.N.D.T department, state P.N.D.T department and Health and family welfare Minister have gone unanswered. My pleas to well-known girl child activists (also active members of this e discussion) have gone unheard. They have been passed of as simple emotional outbursts. Most of the social activists I have contacted have refused to do anything to help me, a question which I `d like to put forward when a women does come forward and wants to fight for the life of her daughters-why don’t you help her? Why done you raise the questions and also why is she being victimised by the very people who speak volumes about the issue and claim to be big social activists?
Eventually I had filed a private complaint under PC –PNDT act under section 5 and 6 against the hospital, doctor, my husband and in laws. After that the appropriate authorities have filed their case against only the hospital under section 9. They have filed the case in Rohini Courts, New Delhi . The next hearing is for 15th April 2009.
What`s the use of all the awareness generation if you cannot help a woman who wants to save her daughters. What`s the use of all the awareness generation if the appropriate authorities are hand in hand with those who do sex determination and the appropriate authorities are trying to shield the guilty? Till date I am receiving threats that I’ll be killed or my daughters kidnapped and murdered if I do not withdraw my complaints.